Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
