I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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