I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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