Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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