I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
