I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
