I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
