Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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