She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
