I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
