You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
