i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
