I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
