Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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