this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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