worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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