she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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