Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
