Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
