Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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