Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
