I am puke
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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