I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
