Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
