she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
