I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
