Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
