I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
