she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
