Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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