I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
