I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
