Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
