Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
