just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
