Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
