Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
