Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
