Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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