I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
