At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
