stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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