have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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