ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
