just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
