I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
