I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
