Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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