I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
