Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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